


Zoe Helps - You Favourite Call-In Show (A Zombies, Run! AU fanfic)

by ThisIsLizz



Category: Zombies Run!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 06:25:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12382713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisIsLizz/pseuds/ThisIsLizz
Summary: Prompt: "Write a story in the form of a radio phone-in show."Zoe has a radio call-in show. She helps people. She's very good at it ...





	Zoe Helps - You Favourite Call-In Show (A Zombies, Run! AU fanfic)

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a very silly ZR radioshow!AU I wrote years ago and somehow kept forgetting to upload...  
> Hope you like it :)

“Listeners, it’s 2 pm and you know what time it is! It’s time for _Zoe Helps – Your Favourite Call-In Show_ here on Radio New Tomorrow, your favourite radio station. My name is Zoe, and I am going to help you. And we already have our first caller, tell us your name and your problem!”

 

_“Yes, hello, my name is Paula and I don’t really have a problem.”_

 

“Good you call Zoe Helps then, a call-in show where Zoe helps you with problems!”

 

_“I just wanted to say I’m a huge fan of your show. I’m a scientist and today I do a presentation on my new project at the university. It’s going to be mind blowing, but I’m a little worried that nobody will come. There are still tickets available and I want to give some out for free to other fans of the show.”_

 

“Oh, a … science presentation … how unique. But hey, maybe some of our listeners will enjoy a presentation on … whatever it is. So is there a secret password you want to share with interested listeners? How about _Zoe Helps – your favourite call-in show_?”

 

_“Erm, sure, why not. First four people who arrive at the university tonight, eight pm, and say that password will get in for free. There is even a segment where people can ask questions and I really want someone to ask a fe-”_

 

“Aaaaand thank you, Paula, good luck with your science presentation stuff. Alright, who is next?”

 

_“Hi, my name is Eugene.”_

 

“Eugene, you don’t sound like you’re from here!”

 

_“No, i’m actually from Vancouver, and that’s part of my problem I guess.”_

 

“Don’t feel ashamed for being Canadian, it’s not your fault. Nobody’s perfect!”

 

_“Yeah, right … so, I was on a holiday trip in my old van, all around Europe, this is my last stop before going home next week. But yesterday all my stuff was stolen. I tried to make some money with stand up, but apparently people here don’t appreciate puns about food.”_

 

“I am shocked …”

 

_“So I’m sleeping in my van on the side of a road at the moment, and I’m using my last few coins to call you.”_

 

“Oh dear! That’s terrible, you really do have a problem.”

 

_“I know. I still have my ticket home, but I need like a hundred pounds to get a temporary passport. So if someone has a job for me, something I can do to get about a hundred pounds and maybe some food, then I can still catch my flight next week.”_

 

“Alright, just let me handle this, I’m pretty sure I will find something for you. Hold the line, I’ll get back to you, there is someone else calling in already. Hello, this is Zoe, and I help. Just say your name and your problem.”

 

_“Hi there, Zoe, my name is Maxine, I’m a big fan. Long time listeners, first time caller. I need your help about my parents. They are always super worried about me, although I’m an adult already.”_

 

“Ooooh, helicopter parents, always hovering over their kids. That’s unfortunate.”

 

_“Exactly! You act out a little when you’re younger and they never let it down. They are constantly worried someone might break into my house and steal my things, because I don’t take enough care. I do have some valuable stuff there, I know, but still. I can barely go out on dates because my mum will call and ask me if my house is secured. Can you help me, Zoe.”_

 

“You can’t allow your parents to put a leash on you, Maxine. You are a grown up woman, right? You sound pretty intelligent-”

 

_“I’m a doctor.”_

 

“Exactly, you’re a doctor! You save lives, you’re intelligent, you’re pretty, you are making a lot of money I suppose?”

 

_“Yeah, I guess…”_

 

“Right, and life is beautiful and exciting, you have to get out there and enjoy it, no matter what your parents say.”

 

_“I know but they worry so much.”_

 

“Don’t worry, I got this. I’ll help you, trust me. Hold the line for a second there, Maxine, okay? Awesome, next caller, hello who is this and what is your problem?”

 

_“Hi Zoe, this is Evan, and I’m calling because of my dog. She looks very intimidating, but she is a coward and afraid of everyone. Do you have any tips what could help, or do you know someone who is a dog trainer?”_

 

“Ah, all your dog needs is a little confidence. I actually happen to have the perfect opportunity for that! She can be a guard dog for Maxine, one of our other callers, it will give your dog the confidence she lacks and needs! Successfully guarding a house will turn her into a new, braver dog, trust me.”

 

_“You think?”_

 

“I’m absolutely sure. Hold on, then Phil will give you her address, bring the dog over at around … seven thirty.”

 

_“Alright, yeah, I will.”_

 

“Awesome, that’s just the way I like it. Quick solutions for all your problems, here at Radio New Tomorrow, your favourite radio station. And we have one more caller, hello!”

 

_“Hi Zoe, I’m a big big fan, I think you’re amazing.”_

 

“Flattery won’t help me help you, but is appreciated anyways. What’s your name and your problem?”

 

_“My name is Jack, and I have a problem with my older sister. So, a year ago me and my boyfriend broke up, and now she wants me to date again, and whenever I see her she pesters me to find someone new. But I don’t want to, because maybe my ex will come back. And I don’t want anyone but him.”_

 

“But … the two of you broke up, right? Why do you think he will come back?”

 

_“He left because I wasn’t grown up enough and too childish for him, but I did try my best to become the person he wants me to be, so maybe he will come back! He is so handsome, and funny, and smart. Anyways, I’m having dinner with my sister’s family tonight and I don’t know if I can stand another evening of her telling me my ex didn’t deserve me anyways and I should find someone better.”_

 

“Oh dear oh dear, that’s a mess. Let me see, I assume there will be lots of food, right?”

 

_“Sure.”_

 

“And would you be willing to spend a little money to get rid of your problem? Like … let’s say … 150 Pounds?”

 

_“If it gets my sister off my back for good, then yes.”_

 

“Okay, then I’ve got the perfect solution. When’s the dinner?”

 

_“At about seven.”_

 

“Listen, I’m gonna send a guy called Eugene over. He’ll pretend to be your boyfriend and behave in the worst possible way in front of you family. Tomorrow you’ll tell your sister the two of you broke up again, and she’ll be more than happy.”

 

_“That’s a brilliant idea, Zoe!”_

 

“I know, I’m the best. So hold the line, give your address to Phil and transfer the 150 pounds to us, we’ll make sure Eugene gets them. Good luck tonight.”

 

_“Thank you so much!”_

 

“No problem, bye! Hey Eugene, you still here?”

 

_“I am, Zoe.”_

 

“Awesome, now listen, I found a job for you, for tonight. You’ll get dinner and 100 pounds.”

 

_“Oh my God, that’s amazing, thank you, Zoe!”_

 

“I know. Tell me about your acting skills, do you have any?”

 

_“I … I don’t know. I’m actually a journalist but I love doing stand up, that’s more my thing than acting. You want to hear one of my great cheese puns? Why does-”_

 

“Erm … no, thank you. Know what, maybe you don’t have to act too much tonight anyways, just tell a few of your jokes.”

 

_“That I can do!”_

 

“Phil will give you an address, you’ll meet Jack, who needs your help. Pretend to be his boyfriend for tonight, can you do that?”

 

_“Erm … yeah, I guess.”_

 

“Awesome! Oh, and maybe leave your van behind and take the bus, so you can get a few drinks. Would be a shame to waste the opportunity, right?”

 

_“Right, I will. Thank you so much, Zoe.”_

 

“You’re welcome! So where was the lady with the over protective parents? Maxine, are you still here?”

 

_“I am.”_

 

“Maxine, here is the plan: You cannot stay at home just because your parents are so worried. Instead, you are going to attend a science presentation tonight. Since you’re a doctor I’m pretty sure you will like it, just be at the university at about eight and tell them Zoe sends you, from _Zoe Helps – Your Favourite Call-In Show_. Then you’ll get in for free. Just do me a favour and ask one or two questions in the Q &A part afterwards, okay?”

 

_“Okay. Sounds interesting. But what about my parents?”_

 

“To make sure they don’t have to worry, Evan will bring his dog over. She’s a damn fine guard dog and she’ll make sure your house is save as long as you’re away. That should be enough for your parents.”

 

_“Wow, that might work. Thank you so much, Zoe!”_

 

“No problem. Enjoy your free evening and the science talk. Oh, and Phil is just signing that it’s time for a short break. So you guys listen to some commercials, then we’ll be right back with more _Zoe Helps – Your Favourite Call-In Show_. Here on Radio New Tomorrow.”

 

“Aaaaaaand cut to commercial. Good work, Zoe.”

 

“Thanks, Phil. Hey, can you connect me to Lou?”

 

“Sure.”

 

“Hey Lou!”

 

_“Hi honey, listening to the show, you’re flawless as ever.”_

 

“Thank you. So I’ll send you the address where you’ll find Eugene’s van. Wait until he has left for his fake-date, then take the van and drive over to Maxine’s. The guard dog in front of the house is a coward, she won’t make you any problems, and the house owner is on a science thing the whole evening. Take everything from the house that you can get, then bring the car back.”

 

_“I’m already on my way.”_

 

“I know you are. Good luck. Aaaaaand we’re back! My name is Zoe and this is _Zoe Helps._ Who is our next caller, and how can I help you?”


End file.
